{still waiting...}

I am actually very shocked to still be pregnant right now. And thankful. And a little annoyed. (aren't we all at this stage?) I think the annoyance comes from discomfort, which is to be expected, and I've only made things worse by hurting my...well, groin for lack of a more appealing word. I went to pick up what I thought was an empty bucket in the backyard last week and it had bricks in it! We can all appreciate what not bracing ourselves for something like that can feel like, pregnant or not. I immediately felt shooting pains right up my you-know-what and any movement (seriously, ANY) has been agonizing since then. I'm just concerned that now is not the best time to be injuring my southern-most regions as I am going to need those for some serious pushing whenever our sweet girl tries to make her debut...again. And as I have mentioned, I want to avoid an epidural. My doc said on Friday that he actually thinks I am feeling SPD (which he has mentioned me having a couple times now), but I think it's both. I feel the dislocated pelvic region pop in and out of place quite frequently - ouch - and I also feel a pulled muscle-type-feeling which is new to me, post-bucket, of course.

Speaking of making her debut, how would you feel if you officially tried to come into the world twice and were rejected BOTH times? I would be discouraged, to say the least. I'm nervous that she has given up and now I'll be pregnant forever. Irrational, I know, but the third trimester is no time to expect rational thinking to set in. And, if I make it past Wednesday (my 37-week mark) than this will officially be my longest pregnancy EVER. Strange to consider, knowing that this is the pregnancy that doctors have taken the most precautions to prepare for an early baby. I guess I should be thanking them for my extra sleep and lack of NICU bills. And I will. But I also intend to smack them if I go overdue *wink*. We are still weeks away from that, I know, but remember what I said about rational thinking?

The truth of the matter is that now I almost feel like making a new game of this. A game of how long will she actually stay in there now? My doc doesn't want to let me go past 38 weeks due to the Paroxysmal Tachycardia issues but I'm curious. What if she did stay in there for the long haul now? What would THAT labor be like when she finally tried again to come out of this giant belly of mine? Fast and easy? Well, either way, he initially wanted to induce once I was 37 weeks (which is CRAZY for him because he refuses inductions pre-39 weeks as far as anyone else has told me) but I convinced him to wait until 38. I doubt I can stall him again, but we'll see what happens. I know it's a little selfish, but I just want more sleep more than anything. Sure, I'm excited to meet her but I don't want to force her out of there if she has finally decided to wait. A womb is a GREAT free babysitter, after all. And my other issue with the induction is that I always enjoy the spontaneity of going into labor (not that I haven't already experienced that twice in this pregnancy, but still). Since this is our last, I want to soak up the fun and chaos of it all as much as possible. I don't want to just walk into the hospital and say, "hi, I'm here to have my baby now."

Maybe I'll be humming a different tune by next week though...or tomorrow. I'm pretty sure consistency is just as lacking as rational though during this last leg of pregnancy.

(P.S. That is not my belly, just a picture that I love - I think it's sweet. And I actually think the foot is photo-shopped - a baby shouldn't have a foot arch developed quite like that, or a foot that big for that matter, while still in the womb - but I still like it.)